i want the desert, a tan, and some bikes.

today i'm running around like a crazy woman trying to get things done, but my head is in the clouds. and by "the clouds" i mean my head is in palm springs, wishing i could go back and recreate this day at my pretty friend marina's bachelorette party.

dear summer, be here now, and please bring some bikes along with you.

these photos were taken by the ever gorgeous promise tangeman, and you can see the rest of the bunch here.

stayin' afloat.

i've always fought against living my life in such a way where my sole purpose is trying to just get by, to survive. however this week i'm in survival mode big time. i've got so much going on i feel like i'm drowning in to-do lists and just fighting to make it to saturday morning when i leave for mexico. it's time to channel the inner scrappy erin. that, and drink a lot of coffee.

this week:

1. my fuel for the week.

2. soaking up every little bit of simplicity and beauty i can find to keep from going crazy.

3. on top of everything we got a new car yesterday (!) and i love it.

any ideas for good car names?

** edit: we have a name, folks. the car's official name is justin bieber. (it seriously says justin bieber on the screen when i turn it on. it cracks me up.) but it will be more commonly referred to as "the biebs" or (wait for it...) the "the mo-bieble." (thanks e.p.)

and everything will be worth it when i get to see these little faces again.

little babies.

lately we've been reminiscing about the beginning of our relationship quite a bit, and then last night i found this picture hiding on my computer. we were eighteen and nineteen years old without a clue (and yet i still give him that where on earth did you come from? look.)

we met at a show, the format. i remember coming home and calling my mom to tell her about this cute boy who drove us and how much he reminded me of seth cohen. she says she knew then that he was going to be someone special (i never talked about boys, i've always been pretty private.) at first it was a bunch of "24" and mixed cds and a lot of christian college cliches, but by the time we were heading into our sophomore year it had become apparent that we had something very real. fast forward six years, one nine month break up, one long distance segment, much growth and a whole lotta livin'... and here we are. and it feels oh so good.

weekend.

st. patty's day fun.

laying low in front of the t.v. friday morning.

shopping.

some real good tobin time.

lots of justin bieber (don't hate.)

yard house and the queen mary jazz bar to celebrate three of my favorite people, including this girl. and finally getting to spend some time with this girl.

so much good food.

even more coffee.

crazy thunderstorms.

anniversary celebrating (kind of.)

early morning hospital waiting (everyone is okay though.)

grad-school researching.

test-driving.

finding chad's wedding ring that's been lost since thanksgiving.

a little bradley cooper, yum (but we kind of hated limitless.)

bubble bath.

broken phone.

finally getting a good night's sleep.

and not taking pictures of any of it. i'm so lame sometimes.

however, this little lady is coming home to la soon, and that is something to celebrate.

it's been six months.

and i honestly love marriage more every single day. happy six month anniversary, to my husband whom i love and adore and can't imagine a life without.

little victories.

source. and lots of other beautiful images.

lately i've been thinking a lot about honesty and transparency and what that should look like on this little blog of mine. i've been finding it so easy to hide the dark and only show the pretty.

(as if my life is solely date nights and colorful pictures and happy stories.)

and while i think there is nothing wrong with sharing in our joys and the nice and simple things of life (and don't think that all of my dirty laundry necessarily needs to be aired out on the internet) i do want to be real and genuine and a little more stimulating.

with that said, dear readers, you must know that i am totally and completely devastated by what is happening in japan (as i know most of you are as well.) i've been finding myself having little breakdowns throughout the day, not wanting to do much of anything besides watch the news and cry. in the moments that i'm able to escape that feeling (like watching brad give out the final rose, or enjoying an americano and cake pop at starbucks) i am shortly after flooded with guilt. it's affecting my relationships and my daily activities and i have no idea how to mourn all of this.

in college i took a class called the african american experience (my favorite class ever), and the professor brought to light something that comes back to me often. he taught us that joy and pain can coexist, and i've had to relearn that lesson over and over again. God wants us to mourn, but he also wants us to dance. what does that looks like right now? i have no idea. but does wallowing in my guilt do anything to help anybody? nope. so i press on. i pray. i choose to let my pain turn to action (somehow, someway) and rejoice in the little victories.

little victories like:

1. finally putting wedding pictures up in our home. 2. getting this text from chad proving that he actually loves the bachelor. 3. coming to work to find that my five year old friend left me love notes. 4. helping that five year old with her homework.

5. the above mentioned cake pop (delicious). 6. staying in the heart of la to celebrate this pretty lady's 25th. 7. skyping with my sister. 8. heaven in ice-cream form.

kids around the world.

yesterday our church body came together and packed 120,000 meals for children in haiti (approximately enough meals to feed 370 kids for a year) and it was just the best day. i saw sixty year olds in an assembly line with three year olds, entire families working together, surfers in-between heats at a contest an hour away, jr. high students working incredibly hard. there was a strong sense of togetherness and family, especially in the wake of what is happening in japan.

if you are looking to get involved in a really great organization, check out kids around the world. they are doing some really important things.