let the lover be.

a little while back i had a few students present me with this quote:

“Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent-minded. Someone sober will worry about events going badly.

Let the lover be.” -Rumi

"it's so you!" they told me. and i loved it.

but somewhere in the past year i've gotten away from this little mantra. i worry too much. i've become self-indulgent. my life is filled with too much clutter and stress about things that really just don't matter. my free spirit isn't a part of me the way that it used to be.

and i know that a part of this is merely just growing up. adulthood creeping in on me and it's normal that i'm not as carefree as i was when i was 18 or 19 and that's okay. plus with the addition of a husband, i can't be as selfish as i once was. i'm a part of an "us" now and i am responsible to another human being.

however i am drawing a line. i've become a slave to clutter, baggage and excess. and i've become too comfortable. it's time to simplify. get back to my roots.

how? what does that really look like? i'm not sure. i'm trying to decide if it needs to be something as dramatic as a tangible getting rid of "stuff" that keeps me from being me, or if it can be merely an attitude shift (i say that as if changing your attitude is an easy thing..) but something needs to be done because i'm finding that my over indulgent and cluttered self isn't as good as loving as i once was, and that is unacceptable. i was created to love. i'm a lover, and beyond that nothing else really matters.

san fran with my wombies

circa 2007

goodbye twenty-ten, you were so good to us.

twenty-ten was quite possibly the most eventful year that i've lived in my 24 years.

honestly, last january i thought that i might end the year engaged. i would have never thought that i would ring in twenty-eleven having been married for 3.5 months already.

i'm a big resolutions person, i make them all year long. so when new years comes around i just have a field day. last year i resolved to learn to play the guitar, which lasted all of two community center guitar classes. woops. good thing i married a fantastic musician, maybe i can finally get him to teach me... (pretty please husband, i promise not to whine... too much.)

but this year i am resolving to learn to cook, among other more personal things.

which means being the picky eater that i am, i will also be resolving to eat better.

i gladly welcome any suggestions, recipes, tips, websites, classes, cookbooks... basically any resources that will turn me into rachel ray. bring it!

maybe all i need is a pretty kitchen to inspire me...

(source)

(source)

here goes nothing...

(just as long as i don't accidentally poison my husband.)