twenty-somethings.

some friends and i often talk about what a weird/ambiguous stage in life being a "twenty-something" really is. that, and the fact that no one seriously prepares you for it.

it's about to be the three year anniversary of when we graduated college. three years! and in these three years i've floated back and forth between feelings of complete aimlessness and loss of passion, to feeling on top of the world and excited for what is to come.

i graduated very much an idealist and have slowly felt myself becoming more of a realist (whether that's a good thing or not i'm still deciding.) i also graduated determined to not stay in orange county (or any place, for that matter) for more than a year and yet three years later, here i am. i never thought i'd get married at 24 and here i am. i thought of my job as a temporary situation when i took it, and i'm still there.

however, i'm okay with it all. i've come to terms with the fact that maybe this is where i am supposed to be right now. that "changing the world" and all of the things that i was determined to do three years ago might look a lot like loving on some orange county high school students for some more time than i planned. and, that the community we've built here isn't something that i want to take lightly.

what's next is still so undetermined and yes, that scares me. a lot. however what i do know is that i'm not okay with being stagnant. i want to keep learning, keep pushing, and keep questioning my purpose in the world. i also know that this stage might last quite awhile longer, and that i need to learn how to embrace it and love it in all of it's ambiguity and uncertainty.

i'm curious if anyone else feels this way? how do you or have you dealt with your twenties?

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"Have patience with everything unresolved and try to love the questions themselves."

- Rilke

catalina and one of my favorite ladies.

today is my dear friend marina's 25th birthday (and oh how i wish she had a blog, you'd love her.) so since i've got marina on the brain, i've also got a little place called campus by the sea on the brain, since she introduced me to this magical cove on catalina island where we worked and lived a few summers ago.

i can't really put into words the feelings that evoke when i think about this camp. this place is seriously a little slice of heaven on earth, you feel an instant peace the second you step onto it's rocky shores. it's a family camp, so it's about as quirky as it gets. birthday skits, wacky cake, camp songs and traditions, wednesday night dance night and a family milk-jug boat race (my personal favorite, some families plan their boat design for months.)

and while that summer was one of the most challenging and confusing periods in my life (somewhat of an understatement), that camp and the people in it forever changed me and will always be one of my best memories. i miss it all of the time.

1. one of my favorite pictures of the birthday girl and i on the boat to avalon.

2. some of my favorite people in the world.

3. the hike to the cross (one of the only hikes i would participate in.)

4. campus by the sea in all of it's glory.

5. courtyard coffee in avalon. easily my favorite coffee shop ever.

back in 'nam.

one of my favorite things about being a woman is that throughout a single day i probably feel every (or close to every) emotion there is. for reals. and i love it.

well tonight the reigning emotion is nostalgia, with my summer spent in vietnam taking over most of my thoughts. so i went on a little trip back to asia via my journal and the hundreds of photos i have from that summer (thankfully i traveled with a talented photographer).

i've been laughing. i've been sobbing. i'm a mess,

but my heart is so full right now.

1. the sweetest littles at the orphanage for disabled children in saigon.

2. the lanterns of hoi an.

3. our sunrise swims in da nang.

4. lychee everywhere.

5. some of my polaroids from the trip.

(little mowgli, playing frogger on my way to work, the best slide i've ever seen, and my favorite english class.)

a note to self:

that life is good.

lately things have been a bit nutsy. mister got a new job that required him to learn everything there is to know about fancy food and wine, so this past week he was studying every second that he was not working. (but he did pass his test!) and my work schedule is always pretty insane, so we only saw each other in passing and really late at night. that on top of the fact that pretty much everyone i know is going through something really difficult right now... it's all given me a heavy heart and (i hate to say it) a cynical taste in my mouth this past week. (and i really dislike cynicism.)

but today i woke up, made my coffee, opened all of the windows and was flooded with thankfulness. life is hard, yes. but it is also good. how many times must i learn the lesson that pain and joy can coexist? hard doesn't always mean bad. we were never promised a easy life. in fact, let's be honest... an easy life sounds kind of dull.

so today, in the face of difficulty and ambiguity, i am thankful for:

my education. (and the beauties who i got it with.)

a husband who can handle my crazy and bring me back to sanity.

iron & wine and their new album.

modern family.

that i get to work here, in this cute little cottage, and not in some cubicle or office building somewhere.

the idea that i get to fly back to swaziland and hug on these little beauties this summer.

double-stuffed oreos and peanut-butter.

french-pressed coffee.

the sunshine.

and the grace of a God who doesn't expect me to be perfect, just loving.

thankful for.

hello blog world,

after a few unsuccessful attempts at a blog, hopefully this time we're here to stay. we are erin and chad mcneely, a newly married couple figuring this whole "life" thing out together.

and today is thanksgiving (!!) and today we start our blog, thankful for so much. thankful for the chance to spend the holiday weekend with the most wonderful family, and the knowledge that we have the very best and most loving friends. thankful for the fact that we have food on the table and won't have to worry about where we will find food next. (and the fact that the food on the table is the most delicious food!) thankful for our beautiful God and His grace, and thankful for the fact that we have found each other, and that we get to do life side by side. and thankful for cheesecake, too.

we are just loving being married, and our hope is that this blog will let you in on the little world we've begun to create for ourselves. (marriage is fun!)

and now i leave you with some lovin' from a magical thanksgiving a few years back (when i lived in a beautiful place we called "the womb"... but more on those beauties later.)