let the lover be.

a little while back i had a few students present me with this quote:

“Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent-minded. Someone sober will worry about events going badly.

Let the lover be.” -Rumi

"it's so you!" they told me. and i loved it.

but somewhere in the past year i've gotten away from this little mantra. i worry too much. i've become self-indulgent. my life is filled with too much clutter and stress about things that really just don't matter. my free spirit isn't a part of me the way that it used to be.

and i know that a part of this is merely just growing up. adulthood creeping in on me and it's normal that i'm not as carefree as i was when i was 18 or 19 and that's okay. plus with the addition of a husband, i can't be as selfish as i once was. i'm a part of an "us" now and i am responsible to another human being.

however i am drawing a line. i've become a slave to clutter, baggage and excess. and i've become too comfortable. it's time to simplify. get back to my roots.

how? what does that really look like? i'm not sure. i'm trying to decide if it needs to be something as dramatic as a tangible getting rid of "stuff" that keeps me from being me, or if it can be merely an attitude shift (i say that as if changing your attitude is an easy thing..) but something needs to be done because i'm finding that my over indulgent and cluttered self isn't as good as loving as i once was, and that is unacceptable. i was created to love. i'm a lover, and beyond that nothing else really matters.

san fran with my wombies

circa 2007